李贵明《我的滇西》诗集后记
我的诗集后记
——我的诗歌民间
在一个看似与诗歌无关的年代，得到迪庆州文学艺术界联合会的资助，我得以出版这本诗集。关于出版诗集的行为，我曾经一直认为是所谓的诗人们满足某种虚荣的表现，并且尝试远离这种无聊的游戏。在今天的时代，这个世界所有知名和不知名的自以为是的国家关注的只是经济的腾飞、物质的交换以及对意识形态的明争暗斗。为了一桶石油，可以通过十种借口发动十场战争。为了满足一个群体的荣誉，可以让数万人高唱赞歌奔赴死亡。为了一个王座，可以在宇宙之间散布弥天大谎……这一切，是我对这个有着无数国家面孔的星球的直接感受。所有的国家正在朝着一个庞大却畸形的世界铁轨对接。人类的集体奔跑，使世界的节奏变得越来越快，越来越陌生。
一部份诗人停了下来，想象着能够抽身时间之外。有一部分诗人，感受了世界的落差，自觉承担了世界的后果，生活与思想的压力因此与日俱增，导致沉默，爆发，甚至在内心不断残杀自己，不断毁灭想象中的世界。有一部分诗人，疯掉了，在世俗的阳光下裸奔，被人类世界命名为神经病，变态狂，自语者……他们恨这个世界，是因为太爱这个世界。但我相信更多的诗人，坚守着内心的高地，珍藏阳光、雨水、土地和雪的干净，他们在大地上感受疼痛和幸福，在梦想世界里行走和歌唱。他们是通向自由的桥，努力让温暖的光照亮每一个时代的精神暗地，用行动，也用思想。在这个时代的夜中，诗人没有过错，世界前进的方向也没有错。诗人的天职是用诗歌的自由精神引领人们走向人性光芒的道路，而世界的方向却因为交换的落差和话语的争夺变成了一个热闹非凡的菜市场。在多元纷争的时代之夜，还有什么是统一的呢？由于物质的争夺导致人类精神世界的集体塌陷，使诗人的理想与时代的车轮发生了一些轻微的碰撞。然而，我相信诗人的行为并非与时代背道而驰，而是尝试着修复人类在前进之路上的精神创伤。
我自认为我没有放弃一个诗人的道德操守和对文学自由精神的基本信念。我真诚地尊重人类的劳动和创新。是劳动创造了人类，创造了诗歌，创造了人类所有的美。此刻，在这个时代某个微不足道的局部，我以一个中国公民的身份生活在云南西北某个遥远的矿山，我的物质生活来源几乎全部依靠那些每天汗水淋漓地在矿井中干活的兄弟。在现实生活的逻辑轨道上，我与那些每天爆破、搬运岩石的兄弟并没有什么差异，我们用生命中的大部分时间低头劳动，为庞大的国家创造税收，贡献利润。我们用生命中的一部分时间供自己想象，想象幸福，想象建设自己的精神家园。在我的世界里，南方有一片广阔的麦田，在某个黄昏，妻子展开修长洁白的手掌抚摩她碧波荡漾的麦田，田野的上空笼罩着槐花淡淡的香，我骑着白色的山地马，从红土地上慢慢走近他们，学步的孩子在花香中露出乳牙朝我浅浅地笑，整个世界沉浸在温暖之中……这是我对幸福的全部想象。由此，我证实了我的生命体验中的田园情结和安详与宁静的诗歌元素。
由此，我证实了本质上的我与当下大多数中国诗人的诗歌主张是背道而驰的事实，当大多数诗人在用水泥的冰冷、钢铁的冷漠、强奸天空的烟囱来描绘时代之脸的时候，当一部分诗人开始用描写下半身的方式反映生活之无奈的时候，当一部分诗人开始用长久的沉默藐视时代之夜的时候，当一部分诗人开始争论梨花诗体的时候，我坚守和歌唱内心温暖的田野、牧场，和高地的白雪，并不断学习祖先的智慧之光，从而认识和开启了一个与众不同的自己。这种基本思维决定了我大部分诗歌的表达风格。记得若干年前有一位在北京的诗歌编辑给我打来电话，说我诗歌的风格已经在汉语世界里“过时”。我对他说了“谢谢”，但我并不以为然。我认为诗歌的表达不过是一个外壳，诗歌树立的文化高度、关照情怀和精神尊严才是一个诗人之所以成为诗人的全部意义。当然，作为一本书，作为文本的诗集，我并不确信它会有多少读者，但我知道作为云南高原上一个用汉语表达的自由傈僳族诗人，我的生存背景、文化背景以及我所接受的从祖先传袭而来的知识，是中国大部分诗人所陌生的。在这点上，我自认为我是忠于我的感受、忠于我的文化、忠于我的土地的。我相信我的歌唱发自内心。由于生存背景和文化背景的差异，我并不奢望有多少汉诗读者能够读懂我的文化担忧，但我相信我的诗歌在外形上呈现的都是美好的事物。关于美，至少人类是相通的。也因为美，这本诗集中的每一首诗歌都曾经温暖和照亮过我自己。在时间变化的序列之中，我想象中的世界已经发生了根本变化，但我仍然对这个给我疼痛和幸福，给我失望和希望的世界充满感激。并且相信作为一种参照，我的诗歌能够使我看清工业时代的迅速变革和利益冲突中人性发生的变异。
我珍惜生命里的每一天，包括诗和非诗的时光。我知道死亡之后投奔沉寂之土的时间，一定比我在这个温暖的世界上停留的时间更加永恒。每个人的生命都是划过长空的流星，转瞬即逝。在短暂的生命历程之中，我并不比一颗春天的小草长久多少。既然如此，还有什么是我不能放下和勘破，还有什么是我不能爱的呢？即使生活在这个单级的畸形世界里，我仍然不会放弃人类之爱，诗歌之爱，土地之爱，时代之爱。时代越冷，我越要温暖，夜越黑，我更努力发光。我确信自己能够在时代的子宫里出入自若，做梦想和现实的两栖人。这是因为我一直爱着，爱自己，也爱别人，爱这个陌生却温暖的人间。作为一个凡人，我必须沿着高速向前滚动的时代之轮前进，才可能在人类的现实市场里获得一隅偏安之地。这就是一个诗人的生存景遇。作为一个诗人，我的生活始终充满诗意和自在，我无所谓人世间有多少人在对着我的背影指点我的生活，因为至少我还能把握，在有限的生命里使自己快乐。我尝试着引领每一个周围的人群向着快乐的生涯靠拢。除了愤怒和担当，快乐也是诗的精神和人的责任。
有人说，真正的诗人最后的归宿是不写、不辩。那是大彻大悟者，与世无争者，淡薄宁静者，隐蔽者，空者。我并不认为这是诗人的最高境界。诗人应该是大地的体验者、生命的关怀者、精神的引领者、自由的倡导者。诗人应该具备立足大地，投入时代生活，感受时代脉动的能力和为生命呐喊的永不屈服的精神。而非修行得大彻大悟，从人类世界和时代生活中转身消失。我相信人类有大彻大悟者，但那应该是宗教世界里的智者，而非诗人。从某种意义上说，无论因为醒悟还是迷茫，诗人的隐遁都是一种妥协和逃避。诗人可以生存在物质和地理的边缘，但永远不能认为生存在文化的边缘，文化是没有边缘的，真正的人类文化，核心都是倡导和维护人性之美。诗人要有勇气承受时代的冲击，当然也要分享时代的光芒，但诗人本身也要创造光芒来照耀时代。诗人与时代的关系应该是相互融入和相互抚摩的关系，而不是对抗关系。这个时代，诗人精神的重建应该从冷却自己开始，从放下自己起步。诗人应该有所坚持，但不能沦为任何形式的独裁者，不能沦为狭隘的个人主义和民族主义。诗人要有坚持个性的决心，又要有维护多元的精神。坚持个性，不是提倡狂妄自大，不是推崇惟我独尊的傲慢，不是提倡诗人沦为反进步和反时代的黑色力量。是希望以理性坚持的决心，来获得尊重时代和尊重自己的判断能力。以坚持个性的方式，来理解敬畏世界的精神。坚持个性和维护多元的理性统一是诗人关照世界色彩的行为表现，也是诗人文化自觉的根本姿态。
以上罗列的种种诗歌理论和诗歌词汇，仅仅针对汉语世界。我还有一个母语的诗歌家园，是今天这本诗集的读者所陌生的另一个世界。我的母语是傈僳语。在我的母语故乡，没有诗歌理论，没有诗歌批评，没有诗歌稿费，没有诗人责任，甚至没有诗歌文本。一切都是自然天成，毫无雕饰。在我的故乡，诗人是真正行吟大地的歌者。他们在田间、在舞场，在森林、在牧场，在高天流霞之间，在一切适合歌唱的地带赞颂美。他们从内心赞颂自然和人性之美，歌唱人间经历的沧桑和幸福，他们的赞颂完全来自灵魂的深处，从而能够感染人们敬畏自然、珍惜人间一切美好的事物。在我的民间，因为没有诗歌法则，没有限制，没有表达的要求，没有韵律，没有关于诗歌的任何标准，每一个需要表达的人都可以成为诗人。在我的民间，没有一个诗人是为了出名和稿费而歌唱。他们没有不能歌唱的事物，比如神，生死和爱，前世今生、天地万物都是他们歌唱的对象。我认为这就是诗人的真正自由和诗歌的基本自由。自由的诗人因为有着广阔的爱，无论时代如何改变，他们的内心永远不会感到寒冷。
在我的民间，诗歌是温暖的事物。它是未定义的。我的祖先在1000年的时间里从青海湖流域往西南迁徙，他们翻越了巴颜喀拉山脉、横断山脉、云岭山脉、怒山山脉、高黎贡山山脉，直至像星星一样分散在中国的西南和中南半岛。在庞大族群的长征中，形成了敬畏自然的基本精神。我的祖先用口头歌唱的方式记录了战争、迁徙以及对大地和宇宙的认识和感知，诗歌因此成为我的民族恢复历史记忆的集体符号。集体记忆的代言人在我的民间叫做“尼扒”，他们在现代汉语词汇中被翻译成“神汉”、“巫师”或者“祭司”。其实，他们只不过是史诗的传唱者，他们是凝固的时间，活的诗典。他们的歌唱和吟颂，使人们的心灵能够得到慰籍、宁静和温暖。他们甚至可以通过诗歌找回人类的灵魂。而他们常常不修边幅、外形粗糙。更有甚者以酒为粮，素面朝天，醉卧红尘。他们由此把傈僳民族集体引领向不敛财、不贪占、无所谓，严守公平和善于分享的诗人生活。更多的人，躬耕田野，放牧流霞，他们把心灵敞开给天地万物，他们创作诗歌，唱给自然，唱给时光，唱给人，也唱给神灵。他们在时间的河岸，宁静自在。我的民间也因此缓慢下来。他们似乎集体成为存在于全球经济和工业时代之外的事物，我的民间似乎也与这个变革飞速的时代脱了节，成为被旅游者猎奇的对象。在人类物质发展的定义里面，我的民间是缓慢的。但是作为诗歌的方式，在今天这个激进的年代里，我的民间淳朴的态度和自由的心态，是这个忙碌的世界值得称赞和学习的东西。
作为一个用汉语表达的傈僳族诗人，我一直在向我生活的时代学习，在向我的民间学习，学习诗人们坦然的处世态度和自由的诗歌精神。我确信能够在母语诗歌的光辉中，恢复我的诗歌嗅觉，历史记忆和对世界的敏锐。尽管我明白，我离诗人真正的自由和爱还有很远的距离，但我时常在生活中保持爱和感恩，并将继续前行和思考。当我的民间和时代的方向发生了某种断裂和差距，我尝试着用诗歌的方式修复和对接它们，因为人性之美永无止境，是超出时代的永恒之物，也是人类向前的根本动力。每一个热爱人类的人，最终都将发现它的光芒和美丽。
这是我诗歌生涯中的第一本汉语诗集，收录的是我从2000年到2010年期间的一部分作品。感谢十年来对我给予帮助、支持和关心的朋友，感谢柏桦女士，感谢迪庆州文联的朋友，感谢那些传授我知识，引导我步入正途的老师和朋友，感谢为我的诗歌分类的小龚美女，感谢我的文化沃土和诗歌民间。你们使我完成了这本诗集的必要手续，我们能做的，仅此而已。当然，当这本诗集投入商业时代的广场之中，我们就都将无法左右它的命运了。然而，我们歌颂人性之美和自由精神的声带将永不停歇。
2010年5月21日
写于羊拉
MY POETRY FOLK
—— Postscript of poetry anthology
I am subsidized by the Federation of Literary and Art Circles of Diqing Prefecture in this times which seems like having nothing to do with poetry that is why I am able to publish this poetry anthology. I had once thought that it is a manifestation of satisfying some vanity for poets to publish anthologies, I used to try to escape from such boring games. In this times, those known and unknown self-righteous countries only focus on the rapid development of economics, material exchanges and ideology struggling. They may start ten wars with ten excuses only for a barrel of petroleum, They may make thousands of people rush to death singing songs of praise loudly for satisfying the desire of a community. For a throne ,they may spread whoppers in the universe….All of these are my direct feelings to this planet with unnumbered faces of countries. All of those countries are integrating with a huge but malformed world railway.. Humanity's collective run causes the rhythm of the world faster and faster, stranger and stranger.
Some poets have stopped., they imagine they can escape from time, some poets have felt the dropping variance of the world, and undertaken the consequence consciously. The increase of life and thoughts’pressure makes silence or eruption, which even leads them to kill themselves in hearts and destroy the world of imagination, meanwhile, some poets have been mad, they are streaking in the sun , they are named as neurotics, abnormal persons, soliloquist…., they hate the world, because they love the world too much. However I think more poets are preserving the innermost high ground, they are collecting the sunlight, the rain water, the land and cleanness of snow, they are feeling the ache and happiness on the ground, singing and walking in the world of dreams. They are the bridge to the free world. They are trying to make the warm light illuminate sombrous corners of each era, with motion, also the thoughts. At nights of this era, poets are not wrong, the advance direction of the world is not wrong .It’s the mission for poets to lead people to a glorious road with the free spirit of poetry. Now, the world has become a busy food market because the variance of exchanges and the contest of speech right .Material competes cause the collective collapse of people’s spiritual world, which makes the conflict between poets’ ideals and the reality. However I believe that doesn’t mean poets’ behaviors run retrorsely against the time, they are trying to repair the mental trauma of people on the road.
I think I have not given up a poet’s spiritual sentiment and the basic beliefs of the literature. I sincerely respect human’s labor and innovation. Labor creates human beings, poetry and all niceness. At this moment, I live in a remote mine in northwestern Yunnan as a Chinese citizen. My material source all come from those brothers who working sweating in the mine. I have no difference from those brothers who move rocks and blast every day in the reality. We spent most time of our lives to bow our heads working, to create revenue for the large countries and contribute the profits. We use a part of life time for the imagination, to imagine happiness, to imagine building the spiritual home. In my world, There is a vast wheat field in the South, at sunset one day , my wife is stretching out her slender white hands, gently caressing her blue waves of wheat fields, the light fragrance of Chinese scholartree is pervading over the fields, I am riding a white mountain horse approaching them on the red earth, my kid is smiling at me showing his primary teeth in the flowers, the whole world is immersed in warm.... this is all that I imagine about the happiness. Thus I confirm the idyllic complex in my life and the serenity and quiet elements of poetry. I believe that I sing from my heart.
From this, I confirmed the fact that I run retrorsely against the poetry proposition of the most Chinese poets now. When some use the cold of cement, the frost of steel and iron, the chimney raping the sky to describe the face of this times, when some start to portray the lower half of body to express the life’s embarrassment, when some start to show their defiance of the night of this era by long-time silence, when some start to argue about the pear flower poem(a style of Chinese contemporary poetry), I still persevere and sing the warm field, the pasture, the white snow at my heart. I keep learning the wisdom of ancestors, thus I know and open myself as a larruping one, this kind of basic thought has brought about the expression style of my poems.I remember several years ago, a poetry editor in Beijing called me and said that my style of poetry had gone out of date in the world of Chinese language. I said thanks , but I don’t think so. In my opinion, the expression of poetry is only a shell, only loving care, height of cultural and spiritual dignity would be significant for a poet. However, for this poetry anthology, I am not sure if it will have many readers, but as a Lisu minority poet using Chinese expression, I know my survival background, cultural background and the knowledge from my ancestors are strange to most Chinese poets, on this regard, I think I am loyal to my feeling, loyal to my culture and loyal to my land. I believe that I sing from my heart. As a result of the survival background and cultural difference, I don’t have extravagant hopes that many readers of Chinese poetry can understand my worries on the culture, however, I believe the presentation of my poems is beautiful, at least, people are alike on the fineness.Because of the fineness, each poem in this poetry anthology has offered me warmth. In the changes of time , The world in my imagination has changed , however, I am still thankful to the world which brings disappointment and happiness. As a reference, the poetry can help me see the human nature clearly in the conflicts of interest and the rapid transformation of the industrial age.
I cherish each day in the life , including time with or without poetry .I knew the time of dreariness in the land after the death would longer than that of in the warm world, each person's life passes instantaneously like a meteor. In this short course of the life ,I am not luckier than the grass.Such it is so, there is nothing I can not lay down , there is nothing I can not love .Even I live in a single abnormal world, I will never give up my love to the human, my love to the poetry, my love to the land and my love to the time. The colder is the times , the warmer I would be, the blacker is the night , the more diligently I shine. I believe firmly that I can be an amphibious person of the dreams and the reality coming in and going out freely in the womb of the times, because I have been loving, loving myself, loving others, loving this strange but the warm world. As an ordinary worker, I may obtain a corner in humanity's realistic market only going forward the unceasingly wheels of the times and the predetermined living standards, this is a worker’s survival circumstance, but as a poet, my life is always poetic and leisurely, I don’t care others talking about this kind of life, at least I can make myself happy in the limited life time. I am trying to lead people around me closing the happiness. Besides anger and bearing, happiness is also the spirit of poetry and the pursuer of the life.
Some people say that the end-result for poets is no tot write any more , not debating any more, they become hiders and they hold themselves aloof from worldly success, however, I don’t think this is the highest state for poets. Poets should experience the earth, concern the life, and to be the leaders of the spirit , to be the initiator of the freedom. Poets should have the spirit of battle crying for the life and the ability of feeling the pulse of the time, they are not the illuminati who fading away from the word. I believe they are in the religious world, but not poets. In a sense, no matter being awake or confused, the reclusion of poets is a kind of compromise and escape. Poets may survive in the material and geography edge, but never think of surviving in the cultural edge, because the culture does not have edges. The core of genuine human culture is to initiative and maintain the beauty of human nature.To initiative and maintain the beauty of human nature is the basic of poetry. Poets should have the courage to bear the attack of the times as well as sharing the brilliant rays of the times, of course poets should create lights to shine the times. The relationship between poets and the times should be harmonious mutually, but not oppositional. In this times, the spirit's reconstruction of poets should started with cooling down themselves. Poets should insist on something, but shouldn’t become dictators, individualists or nationalists. Poets should not only insist individuality, but also insist on the spirit of maintaining multielement. Insisting individuality doesn’t mean to hubris, doesn’t mean advocating poets to be the black power of anti- progress and anti-times, but with the rational insisting determination, obtaining the judgement of respecting oneself and the times. With the way of insisting individuality, to understand and revere the world. The rational unification of individuality insisting and maintaining multielement is the behavior manifestation of poets’ loving care of the world.
The poetry theory and the poetry words above only indicate Chinese language world. I still have a poetry land of my native language, which is a strange world for the readers of this poetry anthology. My mother tongue is the Lisu language, in my village, there is no poetry theory, no poetry criticism, no remuneration for poetry and no poets’ responsibility, there is even no poetry text. Everything is nature, without any decorative carving, poets there are real singers walking on the ground.They are singing beauty’s praises in the fields, in the dancing places , in the forest, in the pastures , under the colorful clouds and every place suitable for singing. They sing for the fineness of human and nature, singing for the happiness and vicissitudes of life. In my place, there is no poetry principle, no restriction, no expression request, no rhythm, no standard of poetry , anyone can be a poet if he wants to express. In my place , nobody sings for fame and gain, they sing gods, life, death, love, preexistence ,this life and everything in the world, in my opinion, this is the real freedom of poets and the basic freedom of poetry. No matter how the times changes, poets never feel cold in heart, because of their wide love.
In my place, poetry is something warm . It is undefined. My ancestor moved from the Lake Qinghai basin to the southwest in 1000 years, , they climbed over the Bayankala Mountains, the Hengduan Mountainsthe ,the Yunling Mountains, the Nujiang Mountains, and the Goligongshan Mountains , they dispersed equally in southwest of China and the South China Peninsula. The basic spirit of revering the nature had formed. My ancestor had recorded wars , the migration and the perception of the world by verbal folks, poetry therefore became the collective mark of recovering the historical memory in my minority. The prolocutor of the collective in my place is called Nipa, It is translated as Wizard or Necromancer in Chinese, they are only the epic singers, the concretionary time and live dictionaries. People obtain consolation ,peace and warm from their singing. They even believe that they are able to retrieve people’s soul through poetry, However, they are always sloven, some of them take the liquor as the grain, sprawling drunken in the bustling world.They lead the Lisu nationality to some kind of poetic equitable which advocates sharing together, a life that people do not accumulate wealth by unfair means. More people there lead a simple life , they farm in the fields, graze under the colorful clouds. They open their mind to the nature, they create poetry, singing songs for time, for gods, for other people. They lead a quiet but peaceful life on the bank of time. Therefore, my nationality is slows down .They collectively seems to be something that beyond the global economic and the industrial age, my place also apparently becomes a hunting object for travelers for disjointing with the speeding times, In the definition of human material development, my place is slow, but as the way of poetry, its unsophisticated attitude and free mind-set deserved to be respected.
I am a Lisu Nationality poet using Chinese to express, I have been continuously learning from the times ,from my land and my people. I keep learning people’s calm and confident manner and the free spirit of poetry. I am sure I can recover my poetic olfaction and historical memories in the glory of my mother tongue’ s poetry. Though I know I am still far from the freedom and love of a poet, I keep love and thanksgiving to the life. When I have rupture with the times’ direction, I try to repair it with poetry. The beauty of human is something eternal beyond the times, it is also the basic power of humanity's forward. Everyone who loves people deeply will feel its ray and warmth finally.
This is the first poetry anthology in my poetry career, it contains a part of works from 2000 to 2010.I want to thank those friends who helped and supported me in the past ten years, I want to thank Ms.Bai Hua, I also want to offer my heartfelt thanks to the friends of the Federation of Literary and Art Circles of Diqing Prefecture, to the friend and teachers who taught me knowledge, to Miss Xiaogong who sorted out my poetry, all of you made it possible for me to finish the poetry anthology. We are not able to control its fate after putting it in the square of the commercial times, however, our vocal cord which singing the beauty of human and the spirit of freedom will never stop.
Translator :Johnell
May the 21th, 2010.Yanla
